I have a craving for burger king. When I am ruler of the universe, I will be the king of all things including but not limited to burgers, however until such a time as all the people of the world realise that I am the greatest and best thing ever, I am forced to rely on other people for my burger related needs.

In every group of people, there is one person that likes to question things, I bet your that person, which means you’d be saying something like “why don’t you just go to a burger king”, well, first of all, we don’t have one, which is funny, we were supposed to get one, but we don’t have one, despite the fact we have plenty of pimply faced idiots of the caliber necessary to provide the sub-standard service we have all come to expect of establishments such as burger king.

Somebody in the marketing department for Australia recently came up with the slogan “where the bloody hell are you?” As much as I hate that saying, it’s aptly applicable here; I want to know where the bloody hell my burger king is, and furthermore, just who the bloody hell do they think they are causing an entire town, 25 000 people* to drive for an hour and a quarter just to get that flame grilled taste.

and now, I’m off to eat a paddle pop, so we will continue this when I get back

I’m back from that delicious chocolate-based interlude, glad your still here, now, where was I, oh yeah, burger king. There always telling me that I can “have it my way”, I’d like to say they aren’t lying, but  I can’t, not only do they have the nerve to make me drive an hour and a quarter, then, they tell me I must choose from there pre-selected meals, that, trendsetters’, is not my way.

Maybe I should ask mum if we can have burgers tonight, I doubt we will, I don’t think she has ingredients which is an unfortunate and very annoying set of circumstances, I’d really really like a burger.

And I’ve just overheard that we are having sausages for dinner, while I’m sure they will be excellent, that does dash my hopes for burgers this eve.

You’ve been a great audience, drive safe and I’ll see you next time

Did You Know

Burger King’s first restaurant, originally called Insta Burger King, was opened on December 4, 1954 in a suburb of Miami, Florida, USA by James McLamore and David Edgerton

Streets introduced the Paddle Pop in 1953

In 2004, the comedy television program CNNNN featured a satirical skit about the presenter’s permeation of Australian media, named the Eddie McGuire Virus. The 12th Man also suggested Eddie plays Humphrey B. Bear in the Humphrey B Bear suit


3 thoughts on “Cravings

  1. I have had cravings for Hungry Jacks (I guess it’s equivalent to BK). Unfortunately I’m trying to eat with a view to better health and maintaining a lower body fat percentage. So this naturally precludes BK/HJ. My fiancee is on weight watchers and the points concept is pretty cool. A neat abstraction of caloric value and saturated fats gives a points rating for any food type. This mandates a nutritional panel but helps one understand why certain foods make you fat (provided you aren’t long distance running all the time). So my favourite (WP thinks I don’t know how to spell, or I’m American) HJ burger, the whopper junior with cheese & no onion, turns out to be 12 points. My daily points is 28. Makes one understand, methinks.

    What’s your favourite BK burger/meal/food-item, Smurf?

  2. My favorite BK meal would have to be, the biggest possible Whopper available, with fries as large as I can get and a largw coke with ice or a milkshake, possibly some onion rings also.

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