More Power To Me

I am the greatest and best person in all the world, as the greatest, I strive to have the greatest and best things available, this morning I found what is possibly the greatest and best banking product on earth, ever, period.

I was on messenger talking to all my evil conspirators when the ad at the bottom caught my eye, it was red, it was a bank ad, glancing over it my passing interest became excitement.

The ad read
“It’s like an ATM card, but better”, intrigued I clicked the ad and was taken to the fastest loading bank site on earth (seriously, most of them are slower than a tortoise with a brain injury) which told me that the card is like an EFTPOS card which was compatible with the Visa network – meaning I can spend my miniscule budget online without the temptation of a line of credit.

This is frisking excellent – the members of the WestPac group are no longer on my list of entities to liquidate – which is excellent for them because like most folk I’m sure they enjoy being in a solid state.

I do have to change from the national bank, but this is not 1943 – bank loyalty is so last millennium, also I have to wait until I’m eighteen because technically it is a visa card – but a four month wait is nothing in comparison to the freedom to spend my money where I like.

I could buy this or this with that card, which is excellent, I can’t wait.


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