The Modern Definition of Sleep

It was Saturday today, around 12AM I do as I always do and go into the lounge to channel surf for crap TV, I don’t actually have to surf at all; I’m a creature of habit and for a few months now my 12Am to 1:30 TV fix has been occupied by Zoey 101 and Unfabulous.

Tonight has the horrible characteristic of being different, I don;t like different, not where my habits are concerned, Caitlin has apparently got permission from mum to “sleep” in the lounge, lets pause for a moment and take a closer look at the word sleep

The dictionary of my brain defines sleep as
[n] Sleep

1. A regenerative state of temporary unconsciousness entered into at the end of a day

2. A synonym used in reference to the organic matter that cements the eyes closed during sleep.

Is this one of those “new age” fads I should hate?I hope so, I love taking the piss out of anything “new age”.People who think they , or something they are doing, can be classified as “new age” clearly aren’t well versed in units of chronological measurement; the best way to deal with these people is to have them shot, after that they should be cremated, their ashes should be scattered over a forest, so that at least in death they have done some good on earth, which is more than anyone can say in reference to their life.

OK, now I feel a little guilty, all the new aged people out there should consider themselves apologized to, okay? Don’t cry, what? you aren’t really going to go stick six slugs in that asshole of a boss of yours because they were having a lot more than a smoke out the back of the Christmas party – are you?

We’ll get back to that one in a second, don’t panic I switched his real bullets for rubber ones while he was crying  hysterically into his hands, if he really does fire that gun he has in his mouth, he’ll bleed to death slowly, I should have more than enough time to finish the post.  See, I told you I put my readers before everything else, he may loose a bit of blood, but that’s what janitors are for.

Ooo, I just looked at his drivers licence, he has that organ donation box ticked,I could use a spare kidney

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s