Eleventy Million Channels

So, myself and a member of the elite few people that get to call themselves my friends were talking about the state of TV, my friend had to go, which was a shame as the conversation struck the kind of chord within me that makes children and small animals of all kinds run in fear of their own death.  Seeing as my friend is unable to be the barer of my opinion, I have decided to inflict it upon you, the small defenseless reader that you are.

The world is not free, we have free speech, their are even free sources of beer, but the placer’s of restriction have found a less overt object to inject their insidious venom into, our freedom of choice.

I can watch what I like, except that if I do, someone will use a word like “nerd”,”girl” or at the more extreme end of the scale “faggot”, why should I have to put up with that crap, why can’t I watch what I like without being judged?

So, in the interests of transparency, here’s a list of all the TV shows I can think of that I like but would be chastised for watching thanks to the ingrained phobia of living outside one’s demographic

  • Gilmore Girls – The banter is witty, the themes are good
  • Unfabulous – Not sure why i like it, i just do
  • Hey Arnold – My entire perception of this show changed thanks to an episode entitled “Helga on The Couch” – therein lies proof that nickelodeon is not all ferries and slime.
  • Phil of The Future – Generally entertaining
  • Lizzie McGuire – I no longer like this show, I did for a while, but since I’d still be laughed at for liking it, it makes the list
  • Judge Judy – Just hearing a judge abuse  people in a court room is funny
  • Rip Girls – Don’t know why i like this
  • The Bill – No I don’t know the character names, nor can I follow the plot, that doesn’t change the fact that i like it, i think this one is a throwback to my childhood, I used to watch it there as well
  • Airline, I like watching angry jet lagged people being handled by incompetent British people.
  • Virgin Diaries – it’s nice to know I’m not the only one not getting laid, good for my self-esteem
  • Dragons Den – It’s good stuff, there’s nothing like watching a plebe try and convince a billionaire his business idea is worth his money.
  • Attachments. I’m not really sure why I liked this
  • Hackers – Because it ruined the entire genre
  • Wargames – Computer learning war cant be won by playing Tic Tac Toe. you’d think a computer capable of learning could have figured that out at least an hour before arming nukes.
  • Firewall – Clearly funded at least in part by a large software vendor.
  • KIm Possible
  • The Weekenders
  • Dr. Phil – We all know there are people out there with bigger problems than us – and it’s fun to watch people struggling with them.

And the shows I hate

  • Jackass / Viva La Bam / Wild Boys – Seeing spmeone get kicked in the balls and / or hurting themselves is only funny a certain number of times
  • Pimp My Ride ‘Lil’ John and Snoop Dogg fuck me right off
  • Mitre 10 Dream Home – I get to watch someone get upset while they build a house they may / may not own
  • Home and Away / Neighbours/Shortland Street – Do I even need a reason.
  • Coronation Street – sam reasons as above, my hatrred of this, one of the worlds most popular programmes and also one of it’s worst, the fact so many people have such a low standard makes this program worth a line of it’s own.
  • Religious Programming – When i need to talk to god, I’ll talk to him, I don’t need Benny Hinn or Creflo A Dollar to do it for me.
  • Police Ten Seven – Like I really need a profile of the serial killer outside my window
  • American Idol – I don’t even get to vote for the one I hate the most
  • Fear Factor – It’s an alternate form of Jackass, kinda reminds me of Who Dares Wins with mike whitney, fuck i hate that show too
  • Crossing Over with John Edwards – An excrcise in how to exploit people who are greving loved ones.
  • The View – As if I want Rosanne’s opinion on anything.
  • Starting Over – Yes, you have problems. now get the fuck off my TV screen.

*American girls, all wheather and noise”

Sorry, like the song, be thankful this isn’t an audio blog

Music I’d be laughed at for liking

  • Avril Lagvine – I blame Col
  • Aqua –  Not anymore,1995 was a very bad year
  • Hanson – I told you 1995 was a bad year
  • Hillary Duff – Not often, but sometimes.
  • Vengaboys – Meh, deal with it
  • Fallout Boy – I get a little Emo sometimes
  • Caramelldansen – Just because it’s sweedish doesn’t mean I can’t like it, but for this one the blame falls squarly on James and the repeditive nature of programming, that lead to me listenig to this song for 23 hours.
  • The Mario Brithers Theme
  • The theme from Zoey 101 – for 48 hours or so

Publish your list, I dare you.

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