As those of you who know me will already know, I don’t enjoy to leave the relative safety and comfort of my home very often, the masses of unwashed glue sniffing hobos are enough to ensure that trips outside are a rare occurrence reserved for special occasions or fires.
This year I have two special occasions planned, the first being a planned trip to Auckland at some point in the very near future which I am very much looking forward to for reasons relating to my consuming of a very special kind of pie, and a few other things upon which I shall now use my rugged good looks, ripped physique and excellent grasp of the horny bull that is the English language, to elaborate on for your enjoyment.
There is a place filled with boxes whose dimensions are 10cm2; you humans named this land Auckland, it was here, in a much larger medical utility box, on the 15th day of the month known as “April”, during the year precluding the start of the final decade of the last millennium that I (almost) successfully completed my journey from cell to human and was expelled from the interiors of my “mother”.
Some time after my expulsion, one of the older humans, higher in the pecking order than I, suggested it was time I visited what I can only imagine to be a monument to some kind of primitive human sky-god, the human called it “the sky tower”.
I’m not enthusiastic about worshiping idols, nor was it in my mandate at the time to research human religion, but my form on this planet is small and I feared that if I was not enthusiastic about a visitation to the “sky tower”, that either the human, the tower, or the sky god to which it was dedicated would eat me if I failed to comply, not wanting to be eaten I did not protest.
One of the key attractions to this monument is the view of the land of the boxes than can be beheld from astride it, however on the day of my indoctrination into the sky-god religion the clouds of gas that had gathered in the planets lower atmosphere or “sky”, lead one of the higher-ups to decree that a visit to the monument was infeasible, I was never given a reason for this proclamation, but I assume it has something to do with the humans view of the sky god being obscured by the gas clouds,
The higher-ups seamed quite disappointed that we could not visit the monument and had us transported to a location containing a primitive projection device which bore images of an gelatinous and highly elastic green creature referred to enthusiastically by others as “flubber”; to date I know not what to make of this creature, I have yet to see such a creature in any of the areas of earth I have inhabited, so I can only surmise that “flubber” is a representation of the sky-god before it took to the sky.
This story bares significance because I have it on good authority that in the course of my visit back to the land of the tiny boxen, we shall again attempt to pay homage to the sky-god’s shrine.
It is my understanding that where large numbers of housing boxen are placed, suitably large supply depots are also placed in order to ensure the survival of all who inhabit the surrounding boxen.
The settlement where the higher-ups acquired our housing box is in an area of much lower concentration so we have far fewer supply boxen with a much smaller variety of goods on offer; I believe this is because after the great hunts, the gatherers for the large settlements take all that is good, leaving the smaller ones to determine who shall have what is left.
I have high hopes of going to one of these rich supply boxes in order to gorge myself in its bounties, then return to my settlement to spread my takings among the folk, and become their god.
I made reference to another voyage, which I will detail as the details are known to mw
That’s all children, happy slumbers.