Polarized Appetizers: A Necessary Evil?

Those with whom I share my abode have departed to our nations capital until the approaching Sabbath and I am alone, doing whatever it is that behooves me to act.

In the absence of those who know how to cook food, I must partake in that which mocks the name of all food, it is edible, and yet, it should not be eaten; these hideous creatures to which I toss the bone of reference are more commonly referred to as “microwave meals”

After some consideration, I’ve come to the conclusion that food does not reach a sodomized state  at the hands of a freezer, such unspeakable deeds do not behoove that which keeps my ice cream;  the majority of the wounds can be attributed to the microwave and the inadequacies of conduction cookery.

Microwaves cook food from the inside out because microwaves break chemical bonds between sugars and fats causing them to move, which produces an even distribution of heat throughout the food (not withstanding the effect of wave interference)

This tends to mean the outside of food is crispy and the centre is moist, it is to this behavior that I owe the crust on my “bolignase”.

Due to my terrifically high food quality standards, the presence of crust on spaghetti bolignase seams like an entirely unreasonable proposition, which might very well end in the death of the one stupid enough to propose it.

However, I fear these meals are a necessary evil in the medium term, because I cant cook they allow me to be independent as far as meal preparation is concerned, but at some point I would like to learn to cook, if only to render these polarized appetizers a thing of the past.


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