Excrement In Motion

Humans do many wonderful things, many of them unique to our species, this is what makes us feel so self-important and places us at the top of the food chain, which, by the way is a concept invented by none other than a human, for the purposes of geological study and as an aid in our collective ego-masturbation.

Some things that we do are not unique to us as a species, one of the global habits we’ve adopted is a need to free ourselves of our waste, and as a very wasteful species, excretion is something evolution has honed to a fine art.

This morning I too felt the need to rid myself of waste, the bin containing a mix of organic and manmade waste was quickly reaching capacity, at this point evolution takes over, I was consumed by a primal urge to empty the trash.

I gave in, removed the bag from the small bin inside and took it to the larger external waste processing bin nearest to my dwelling, it was en route to this greater communal excrement collection point that tragedy struck.

With the aid of the omnipotent rebel we have come to know as “wind”, the excrement hurled itself in most directions, subverting it’s true destiny, a trip to excrement nirvana.

I could not let the rebel trash tarnish my noble quest to dispose it, I began a sub-quest, my new focus, recover the rebel trash and make it conform.

I deviated from my intended route by some metres to pick up the garbage, which kept moving as I approached it, this trash was crafty, but I would not admit defeat so easily,

I wrangled the vast majority the trash into my control,leaving only the most diehard rebels, entrenched in places that did not behove my access, to survive in the wilderness, my on;y consolation is that those rebels will eventually die of hunger, or exposure

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