Four months have past since I last blogged, and yesterday a person I know who shall remain nameless commented on my last post wanting an update. A lot has happened in the four months since my last post, poetic though it was it was mostly an expression of fear for the unknowns of a journey I was about to throw myself into. Four months thereafter I am still on that journey and in that time I have discovered many amazing things which I shall muse of for the benefit of my readers, however few they are.
In order to understand the journey I have embarked on, you must understand where I came from, or more precisely, the person I was before I began this journey. I lead a very sheltered life, regardless of any reason I might give for that, it was a choice I made. The reason I sought shelter was mostly because I have a strong aversion to unknown things, being the logical person that I am, my response to that was to isolate myself from as many things as I could that might trigger that fear, all the while blinding myself to the fact that I had no life, few friends and was essentially useless.
Then I began my journey. I journey that has caused me to re-evaluate myself and my priorities, and in so doing has dispensed with a lot of the fears that made me the person I was.
Since it’s beginning I have conquered many fears and obstacles, here’s a short list
- Putting on shoes
- Buying food
- Doing Laundry (how I hate it so)
- Making various food products
- Making half-arsed attempts at sticking to a budget
I have also enrolled in university, specifically I’m doing a bridging course, which assuming I pass should allow me to pursue the computer science degree which I believe is so vital to the idea that I might one day stop sponging from the nanny state, no matter how soft it’s cushion, I’d rather have RSI and a nice house due to coding than a few hundred a week some other coder have to me because I’m a cripple.
University is going well, I have mostly A’s for marks, for the purposes of honesty and transparency I shall now admit that I did recently screw up a critical exam, however because of my previously excellent mark it was only necessary for me to score 15% on this exam, which I believe I have a reasonable chance of doing so all is not lost at this point. I am quite anxious about failing university, I do know there are other options for getting into IT as a career but it will be a blow to my self-esteem because university is something I have always wanted to do so the prospect failing at this early stage does seam a little pathetic.
Those of you who know me will know that I’m a cripple. Contrary to popular opinion this is essentially excellent, decent parking, the ability to get discounted access to entertainment because my dimensions look disproportionate to my chronological age. As noted in a previous post, I recently discovered that I am crippled in more ways then i knew, apparently my eyes lie to my brain and vice versa. This affects many areas of my life and gives reason to what I had previously considered to be failures explainable only by my own stupidity.
Since discovering this flaw in my implementation, some progress has been made to remedy the issue but at this point I have seen no enhancement to my daily life as a result, which is fine, rewiring a brain should be expected to take some time, it’s not like learning VB.
On the subject of brain rewriting, I am also leaning to write, progress here has been slow too because my muscles don;t know how to make many of the movements associated with writing yet, this in combination with the insolent and malfunctioning eyes makes the learning process significantly more difficult, but I shall continue to persevere.
Other things newly discovered include my new power chair (an Invacare TDX-SR for those of you playing at home) which has the ability to tilt my seat back to scary angles and raise up as high as the Tim Tams but not quite as high as the shapes. I also start trials for a new manual chair at some point in the future as well I believe, which is excellent, because I have more than outgrown my current one.
I haven’t made a vast quantity of new friends. University is less of an ideal environment for that then it might be perceived to be and the majority of the residents here are either much older than me or lack necessary skills to interact with me on a level I find stimulating.
There is much more I want to tell you, but the necessity of sleep preempts my desire to do so at this juncture.