I feel awesome. Prodigy is playing and for the last five minutes I’ve been brushing and mouth washing. As you may or may not know, doing my teeth is one of my least favourite things. For a long time I’ve avoided doing them just because I hate it so much. Recently I’ve decided that if I am ever to have the kind of life I don’t want to end, then I must socialise. Socialising requires social acceptance, which requires me to do a number of things that society in general regards as requirements, including maintaining good oral hygiene.
The reasons I couldn’t do my teeth are complex, to oversimplify them, it was a lack of motivation, if I don’t go anywhere and have a shell of a life, why bother taking care of them, especially since the process of doing so made me so uncomfortable. That has changed because I’ve realised that to some extent my loneliness in life was a choice, not a conscious choice, but a choice made out of fear and a need to protect myself. I’m ready to stop protecting myself quite so much because I want to discover what I’ve been missing.
The fact that I can now overcome this as I have done three times this week is something I’m proud of, it shows me that I am ready to shed my security blanket and go explore life.