Recently, I have begun to feel increasing isolation from the world around me and I’m not really sure why but its beginning to feel quite depressing. Normally when I write code I feel good, now it just feels like it’s a distraction from the fact that most of the time I’m alone both mentally and physically.
Those in therapeutic capacities would suggest joining groups because groups are by their very nature social structures which is their greatest benefit and from my perspective their greatest weakness as I very much dislike that artificial structure because the interaction feels similarly artificial unlike naturally occurring relationships.
And I hate that I’m so screwed up that I even need to contemplate such things. I don’t understand how exactly it is I managed to fuck this up, I don’t have any cognitive issues, aside from the chair I am a completely normal human being, which leaves me wondering how it is I always end up alone when my human nature should ensure I am at least somewhat compatible with members of my own species, but apparently not.
And so I remain, trapped in this tiny little plastic box