Exposing The Tuna Conspiracy

I have come to the conclusion that a conspiracy of epic proportions exists within the canned tuna market which may extend to the highest elements of the wider canned goods industry. Specificity is a rarity in case of allegations such as these, however in this case the specificity I shall render to these claims will cement them incontrovertibly, and in so doing,the tuna eating public will rejoice and hold me in higher esteem than tuna itself.

Good reader, I prey the listen with an open mind, for the new I bare will not sit well with many of you, however I feel I must deliver it. I believe that the major tuna manufacturers of the world have been producing cans of tuna with a defective opening pull ring, the effect of which is to deprive the unwitting buyer of the delicious delicious bounty within, while the proprietor and producer still pocket the proceeds of the deprived buyers purchase.

I am behoved to warn the reader that the image which follows might cause them a considerable degree of disturbance, however I feel showing it is in the best interests of dead tuna and the dead tuna purchasing public of the world

This tuna asked us to conceal it’s identity for fear of dead-fish-in-a-can reprisal, but you can clearly see the damage that has been done to this poor defenceless can of dead fish meat.

Would you allow poor African children to have their pull-rings decapitated, yes, but those are someone else’s problem, when it comes to the precious life of dead-fish-in-a-can, we simply can’t afford to let this continue

Stand up for what’s right, I can’t because I’m a cripple, but chances are someone else, someone like you. can stand up and make a real difference in the life of one can of dead fish.

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