Paralysis and Fear

It’s Friday afternoon and I’m feeling tired, confused and emotionally fragile, I’m not sure if I want to be a software developer anymore, I’m not sure if I can, I’m not sure what I’d do if I wasn’t, I’m not sure how it is I can justify all these years of apparently wasted energy, or even if I really feel like being alive right now.

For some reason I bled a lot today from both my nose and my foot which it appears I cut without actually feeling anything at all, this is one of the benefits of having poor circulation.

I’m so confused about my life and its really beginning to depress me, and paralyse me, I’m not sure how, where or if I can move from here.

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One thought on “Paralysis and Fear

  1. Being in this state of mind really sucks. I know. I’m a regular visitor to depression town. Your life has not been a total waste. You’re fantastic, brilliant, fun, witty, intelligent and have so much more to offer. I think, if you choose to, you will make an excellent software/web developer. If that’s not what you choose then, I believe you will succeed no matter what you want to do. *huggles* Stay strong, think positive and don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t do whatever you want because you definitely can.

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