My feelings enter congruence with the sky, I sit awake with thrashing head and bleeding scars. Life is not bad, but it’s far from what I desire it to be, happiness comes as a proxy, shallow and brittle, erected only to disrupt the consistency of that which opposes it. This sadness is a manifestation of a greater discontentment within my life which relates specifically to the discourse between my life goals and my reality, While I have wallowed un it, I have written very little code and hence am not actually helping that aspect of my existence at all.
Night time is hard because it is the time when my brain inadvertently introspects, feeling with what has put me in this mood is something I would rather avoid, and by that notion my sleeping patterns are once again dramatically disjointed as a result
Somrthing in my world is missing, and I don’t know what it is, but I hope i find it soon